Failure is hard, and no matter how many times we fall flat on our face, I’m not convinced getting back up is any easier. See not meeting the goal isn’t really the hard part, it the fact that expectations weren’t met that really stings more than anything. We’ve all been there, we had a dream or a plan than didn’t turn out quite like we hoped. We failed.
When I say this I usually get some immediate responses saying something along the lines of “don’t say that” or “no you didn’t.” See people love to point out all the things you did good and re-write history with a version where you come out successful. I don’t like to do this. Now don’t get me wrong, it’s important to acknowledge the hard work, time and effort you put in to achieve your dreams. That hard work has value. But failure also has value.
I had a supervisor when I was a Resident Advisor in the dorms talk about this idea of failing forward that really encapsulates what I’m talking about. It reframes failure as a positive. Instead of viewing failure as a setback, I choose to see it as an opportunity to move forward. The way I see it, if you’re not ever failing at anything, you should dream a little bigger.
The truth is, we all will always have room to grow and improve ourselves. Failure is an opportunity to take a new approach to the dream you have. It’s not the ending of a story but can instead be the pivotal turning point. My greatest successes in life have been because of my failures. And let me tell you, success tastes that much sweeter when you’ve felt the heartbreak of not achieving that goal. Failure can be a redirection if you let it.
When I was a freshmen in high school I had this dream of being on the competition pep team and long story short I didn’t make the team I wanted so I ended up auditioning for a competition dance team at my dance studio. My mom can confirm I balled my eyes out and ate a piece of chocolate cake when I failed to make that team. It was devastating. But had I made that team I never would have been a part of the dance studio competition team which is where I found my passion for dance. Today, I’m going into my Senior year as a Dance Major at California State University Long Beach. Who knows if that would still have happened if I made the pep team. All I know is that everything happens for a reason and God’s timing is everything.
I choose to see failure is a tool and an opportunity for us to grow. Honestly, for me it’s easier. It allows me to view failure as a positive and celebrate the wins and loses. So next time you feel like your failure is a setback, try thinking of it as “failing forward” instead.
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